“Raccoon Faced Freaks” Assault Waitress

Raccoon Face Freaks

Raccoon-Face-Freaks

Two assailants described by onlookers as “raccoon faced freaks” burst into a Red Robin restaurant Thursday assaulting a waitress and making off with several baskets of fries and over 10 hamburger patties.

One customer interviewed at the scene said “It was like they were looking right through me.  They just came running in, bashed through everyone who was waiting to be seated and went straight for the waitress.  She just screamed, dropped her tray, and ran.”

Police later found the 2 men, who are still unidentified, devouring their haul next to the dumpster behind the restaurant, in a nest of refuse where they are believed to have been living.

4 thoughts on ““Raccoon Faced Freaks” Assault Waitress

  1. raccoons are very clean. they wash their food before they eat it.
    these raccoons look gay, so i’ll bet they’re VERY clean.

  2. hey, when i called the cops last summer to tell them two big bipedal racoons stole my cooler full of beer they just laughed at me and hung up.
    guess you have t be a cute waitress to be taken seriously anymore!

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